Are You Having Trouble Sustaining the Motivation to Make an Important Change?

You are not alone. Change can be tricky. Motivation can seem elusive. You start with the best of intentions and then sooner or later your inspiration evaporates.  Your willpower flags. And you find yourself back in the same old rut. 

Whether you are trying to lose weight, end an addictive behavior or write that novel learning how to motivate yourself skillfully can make the difference between moving in the direction of your desires or staying stuck in a cycle that ends in frustration and disappointment.

Since most of us have more than one thing we would like to change or improve if we thought we could be successful, this whole business of finding and sustaining motivation can start to feel overwhelming. In fact, after a number of false starts it can be downright painful. But it doesn't have to be that way.

Multiple Goals Can Scatter Your Energy

How I Came to Be Interested in Motivation...

I have worked as a psychotherapist for over 30 years. In 1982 I was in my second year of graduate school when one of my professors introduced me to a book titled How People Change by Allen Wheelis.

It's a curious little book--just slightly over 100 pages and first published in 1973. Dr. Wheelis does not provide an answer to the question implied by the title nor does he outline theories of change in text book fashion.

Instead, he tells the story of his personal battle with anxiety and links its genesis to a summer during his childhood--all the while, weaving in bits of his philosophy here and there. Ultimately, he concludes that while insight is helpful, it is not usually enough by itself to effect change. Sustained effort and willingness to change are needed also. 

The book piqued my interest in finding out (for myself as well as my clients) how to cultivate willingness and sustained effort--even (or perhaps especially) in the face of inertia. Fortunately, a lot more is known today than when Dr. Wheelis wrote his book and more is being discovered every day.

However, a fair amount of what might be considered 'conventional wisdom' isn't very wise. Often the things people tend to instinctively do to motivate themselves don't work. Or worse, they actually interfere with the ability to get and stay motivated.

Change is hard enough! There's no point in unwittingly making it more difficult than it already is. In fact, self-directed change is an adventure that can be fun and all the more rewarding for the challenges it presents. That is the inspiration for and the spirit of this website. But first...

Let's Lay the Foundation

Throughout this site you will find all manner of tools to help you on your journey--reflection questions, evidence-based practices, product recommendations, inspirational quotes, films, etc.  There's even a section on theories if that interests you. 

But before you dive in, I highly recommend that you first attend to what I call The Four Keystones of Self-Directed Change. I'm partial to a holistic approach--mind, body, emotions--they are all connected.  And the Keystones lay the foundation to support you in each area.

The use of the term 'keystones' is intentional to underscore their importance.  Dictionary.com defines 'keystone' as: "1. the wedge-shaped piece at the summit of an arch, regarded as holding the other pieces in place. 2. something on which associated things depend: the keystone of one's philosophy." Synonyms include: "basis, principle, foundation, linchpin".

For some, The Four Keystones may be all that is needed to get centered and move forward. A positive change in even just one Keystone will, more often than not, cascade into other areas of life multiplying the benefits received.

So when you're ready, check out The Four Keystones of Self-Directed Change. And start your journey on the path of Skillful Motivation.